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Showing posts from March, 2019

Green, green grass of /home

We were somewhat taken aback by the public backlash we faced after the publication of our last post, Have-ocado.  No, people weren't overly offended by the highly preposterous manner in which 2 × ESP32 microcontrollers were bound together in holy matrimony using EEPROMs.  Nor were they aghast by repeated and unnecessary references to 90 Day FiancĂ©, the paragon of inadvertent brainless TV viewing.

In fact, to the small subsection of society for whom avocados symbolise the sanctity of human life and existential purpose, the thought of even one being deliberately set alight caused moral outrage.  And for that, we would like to take this opportunity to sincerely apologise.  Furthermore, if you are that non-existent complainant, we also recommend that you abandon this post at this very juncture. Because what follows below, is likely to make you question the entire future of humanity.

For those electing to read on, the context surrounding the experiment was this:

Of course, we were in…

Have-ocado

We all know that sinking feeling.

A bunch of avocados that we desperately need for our weekend guacamole has been delivered by Ocado*, but they arrive as hard as Vinnie Jones in a blustery weekend fixture down in South West London.  And like the acclaimed actor geezer himself, the cruel sticker further taunts you in a menacing London twang, with these incredibly demanding words: "RIPEN AT HOME".

What?!

Let's get this right... so although they've been expertly delivered by a man in uniform, we now have to leave our exotic green companions in a meditative state for a few more days? All while ensuring that they are exposed to a highly non-scientific, subjective temperature of room-degrees-Celsius? Yes, so it turns out, this is indeed the level of effort demanded of us shoppers to materialise the perfect condiment to our burritos.  And this - as it transpires - becomes the rather nonsensical pretext to this entire blog post**.

Well, then, challenge accepted.  Because we…